The Rules
- Pick the right people to go to battle with
- Stay the Course
- Libations to the BMN Gods
- Stay away from the Kids
- Please Engage in Talking During our Feature Presentation
- Operate Within a Democracy
- Sweep Your Feet, Lose Your Seat
- Location. Location. Location
The chemistry of your BMN crew is crucial. Ideally, everyone brings something different to the table. An A-Team of bad movie watching if you will. You need the “funny guy” to crack wise throughout the movie, “the simpleton” who everyone can shake their heads at when he doesn’t get something, and the “voice of reason” who pays attention enough to explain what the hell is going during some of those real gems.
Everyone needs to be on the same page. You need to be mentally prepared to watch A LOT of shitty movies. Some will be bad, some will be horrendous, and some will even be downright tortuous. No matter what though, you may NEVER turn off the movie once it starts! If you’d rather dig out your eyes with a spork than continue watching the movie, then get to digging.
Every functional BMN must have some sort of alcohol present. This is not negotiable. Trust me, you’re going to need to tie one on to make it through some of these groan-inducing flicks. Whether you’re a wino or like to take tequila shots every time someone fires a laser gun, beverages are crucial. Everyone is expected to contribute though, i.e. each person brings a bottle of wine. Certain herbal treats are also acceptable, but we here at BMN.com don’t condone the use of any drugs ::COUGH COUGH::
Movies that is. Look, there are some kids movies that are BMN classics, but as a general rule of thumb, stick to movies with at least a PG-13 rating. That way, even if the movie is a steaming pile of crap, you still have the prospect of explosions, excessive cursing, bioengineered animals created by the government, and/or boobies to look forward to.
I know you all have very good manners and know its proper etiquette to remain quiet while watching a movie, but not at Bad Movie Nite. BMN encourages not only talking, but roasting, clowning, hijinks, and shenanigans. Some of the best BMN viewings are those that end with the group having no idea what has happened because of all the commentary.
Each week, it is imperative that you rotate whose turn it is to choose the epic fail of a movie for BMN. Inevitably, you will grow to hate the person who creates an evening of cinematic suffering every time he or she comes up in the rotation. For the love of god, how did you find the third movie in the Cutting Edge series??
This one is simple, if you aren’t able to make BMN on any given week, you move to the bottom of the rotation. Sometimes the incentive of getting together to watch Howard the Duck isn’t enough, and you need a potential penalty to crack the whip.
I have bad news. If you live in a studio apartment and your only piece of furniture is a futon, you cannot host Bad Movie Nite. On the flip side, if you’re Master P and you have a home theater in your abode, complete with rows of recliners and a popcorn machine, be prepared to be the permanent BMN meeting ground.
