Review: Troll 2 (1990)
Best Bad Quote:
“They’re eating her! And then they’re going to eat me! OH MY GOOOOOOOODDDDDD!!!”
Occasionally a sequel comes along that far surpasses the original like The Godfather 2, Terminator 2, and X-Men 2. The 1990 masterpiece Troll 2 is no exception; except for the fact that it far surpasses the original Troll is sheer crapiness. This movie is absolute shit. Shitty acting, shitty writing, shitty costumes, shitty SFX, and the list goes on. So why the hell does this movie have such a cult following? Because there are people out there who appreciate these shitastic movies as much as I do. We dedicated bad movie fans like to roll around the proverbial celluloid filth that is movies like Troll 2.
Against the warnings of his dead grandfather who can somehow stop time, Young Joshua and his family decide to take a trip to the peaceful town of Nilbog. Hmm, that town name sure seems strange. Could it be because Nilbog backwards spells Goblin? Holy fucking shit! That can’t be a good sign. Indeed it isn’t, as it turns out that Nilbog is the kingdom of the goblins. It’s up to Joshua to keep his family from stuffing themselves with neon green, goblin goo covered treats that will turn them into food for the goblins.
The biggest question I had upon viewing this movie with my fellow Bad Movie Niters was, “why the hell is this fucking movie called Troll 2? Never once are these dwarves wearing potato sacks and cheap masks from Big Lots ever referred to as trolls, only as goblins. So why the fuck isn’t this movie called Goblin 2? I had to tell myself, if I got nilbogged down with logic, I’d miss all the ridiculousness this movie has to offer. Troll 2 has the early 90’s written all over it, from the green ooze that can’t help but remind you of “Double Dare,” to the daughter’s spandex clad workout ensemble.
Drake Floyd, the director, who also must moonlight as a porn star with a name like that, has created a cult classic in Troll 2. If after taking in a viewing of this movie for yourself, you are left thirsting for more Nilbog milk, check out the documentary: The Best Worst Movie
4 out of 5 Cartons of Nilbog Milk