timecop

Review: Timecop (1994)

by Aaron Vaccaro – Head Writer

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Best Bad Quote:

“50,000 volts motherf**ker!  Have a nice day!”

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Hopefully, I’m the first person to tell you this:  Timecop is not as bad as you remember it being.  Despite Jean Claude Van Damme’s lack of being a world class thespian, the story is actually kind of genius.  A bit convoluted, but genius nevertheless.  Yes, I just called the plot of Timecop “genius”… twice.

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Based on a comic book story, this futuristic film follows the time-travel exploits of policeman Max Walker (Jean Claude Van Damme). In 1994, Walker’s wife Melissa (Mia Sara) is about to tell him that she is expecting their first child when they are attacked by a group of criminals. Walker is shot and beaten and lies helplessly on his lawn while he sees their home and his wife blown up by the killers. Ten years later, Walker remains an employee of the Time Enforcement Commission, a federal agency which was set up in 1994 after the U.S. government learned that time travel technology is feasible. The commission’s role is to prevent time travel to protect U.S. economic interests. Walker learns that the corrupt Senator McComb (Ron Silver), who helped establish the agency, is exploiting it for personal gain, trying to establish a monopoly on time travel so that he can enrich himself in the stock market. Walker travels back in time to stop McComb from murdering his former partner. At the same time, Walker hopes to rescue his wife, and he learns that the attack on his home was ordered by McComb to stop Walker from foiling his plans.

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Whatever happened to Mia Sara?  That girl was easy on the eyes, was she not?  Come on, Sloan in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off!  Just one more reason that everyone wished they had Ferris’ life.  Anyway, I digress.  Back to Timecop.  This underrated JCVD flick gets buried under his other classics like Bloodsport and Kickboxer.  But Timecop has JCVD avoiding electrocution by doing the splits onto a kitchen countertop.  How can you not love a movie like this?!  Now, we never watch JCVD movies because he’s a halfway decent actor, because, well, he’s nowhere near a halfway decent actor.  That being said, when you can hold a high kick for as long as he can, who needs to act?

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You know what else I love about this movie?  The fact that it embodies everything we loved about 90’s movies.  From the mullet-rocking henchmen to muggers wearing rollerblades to an artfully done sex scene to the soundtrack of some smooth jazz.  And what happened to a good ole fashioned sex scene in movies?  It seems like our heroes never get laid anymore.  I mean shit, if I’m going to be tasked with saving the world, I’d appreciate a little tail thrown my way first.  It seems like only straight-to-DVD flicks have the courage to feature a quality sex scene anymore.  It’s a damn shame.  Again though, I’m digressing.  Right, the 90’s.  This movie loves everything about it, and as a result, so do I.

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Finally, Timecop has some fantastically choreographed action sequences.  Sure, action sequences for JCVD are like steroids for Barry Bonds.  It’s what he does best.  And he’s at the top of his game in this movie.  There’s a knife fight sequence that is made to look so effortless for JCVD, I’m sweating more than he is just watching the damn thing.  In another sequence he kicks a guy’s frozen arm to pieces.  Sure, it’s a little bit of a ripoff of Terminator 2 where Arnie shoots the frozen T-1000 to pieces, but JCVD steps it up a notch by using his deadliest weapon, his legs.  But don’t think that JCVD doesn’t get to play with his fair share of firearms.  Hell, he shoots a thug straight up thru his nuts!  His nuts!

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What I’d like to tell you is to revisit Timecop.  I promise you, you will not be disappointed.  Not only does it hold up, but frankly I think it’s a little better than I originally remember it being.  One last digression:  anybody else notice that Ron Silver looks like the Jewish version of Andy Garcia?  Believe it.

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Rating:

4 out of 5 High Kicks to the Face

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