Review: Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead (2006)
By Aaron Vaccaro – Head Writer
Best Bad Quote:
“You said you’d never change but here you are bumping tacos.”
Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead is easily one of the sickest, most depraved, movies I’ve ever seen. Not Last House on the Left or Funny Games sick, where you feel constantly uncomfortable cause you feel like you’re watching a snuff film. No, Poultrygeist is sick in the most rudimentary form of the word. From a woman’s head being put through a meat slicer, to the most severe asshole fisting ever put on celluloid. I’ve grown up watching a lot of horror movies, and my mantra was always “the gorier the better,” but even this was a little much for me. It was as if Troma President and Poultrygeist director, Lloyd Kaufman, said to his crew, “I’m determined to make this the most vile film ever made.” Well, Lloyd, I think you just might have succeeded.
Poultrygeist starts off as an innocent tale of young love as dorky Arbie seizes the opportunity to consummate his relationship with his girlfriend Wendy before she heads off to college. Months later, the Indian burial ground where the two lost their virginity is now the site of the newest “American Chicken Bunker,” a military-themed fast food fried chicken chain. People are protesting the conglomerate moving into their wholesome, small town of Tromaville, and amidst the group, our hero Arbie spots his love Wendy who he hasn’t seen for months. The only problem, college has turned her into a lesbian. Arbie thinks for some odd reason that he will win Wendy back by getting a job at the fast food restaurant. From here, the film divulges into one grotesque scene after another as the spirits from the Indian burial ground start to infect the food, turning the patrons into members of the “chicken dead.” Arbie must try to survive the on-slaught of fowl zombies while trying to win back the love of his life.
You will undoubtedly be dumber after watching Poultrygeist. It’s no secret that Troma sets out to make bad movies, but the only thing I found redeemable about this movie had to be the makeup effects. Watching a man sprout breasts after eating the tainted chicken only to then hatch eggs from his bitch tits was something I can honestly say I’ve never seen in a movie before. But the impressive makeup effects are negated by the lack of creativity in the writing, evidenced in the various character names, Denny, Carl Jr., Paco Bell, Arbie, and Wendy, see a theme there? Not to mention the proprietor of the Chicken Bunker being a blatant Colonel Sanders rip off. This movie takes gross-out humor to a new level. Let’s just say I would’ve hated being on the clean-up crew.
Did I mention it’s also a musical? Fuck, this movie is terrible! The only way I would ever recommend this movie is if you were curious to see what a zombie chicken person looks like. Or if you enjoy boobies. But for every pair of tits, you have to endure a redneck sodimizing a chicken, a token Mexican jerking off into the meat grinder, and an obese fatty spraying the bathroom with his explosive diarrhea. Poultrygeist is not fun, it’s just gross…and I hate it.
1 out of 5 Shameless Ron Jeremy Cameos