frogtown

Review: Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)

By Aaron Vaccaro – Head Writer for Bad Movie Nite

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Best Bad Quote:

“Without great passion you can’t face the dance of the 3 snakes.”

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Man, would I have loved to been a fly on the wall of this pitch meeting.  “Okay, so picture this, post-apocalyptic world ravaged by nuclear war.  The fallout from the bombs has caused most humans to become infertile.  Our hero, “Rowdy” Roddy Piper aka Sam Hell, is one of the last men on Earth that isn’t shooting blanks.  When the government catches wind of this, they strap a protective codpiece on his junk and send him into Frogtown, to rescue a harem of women, so he can run a train on them and subsequently save the human race.  The only problem?  A group of crazed frog/human mutants who are determined to stop Hell and seek revenge on the humans that turned them into frogs…so whaddya think?”

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I think that this movie would NEVER get made today.  Or if it did, it would be a straight to DVD, possibly SyFy channel fare.  God bless New World Pictures for making this movie because it is absolutely ridiculous.  And I’m not talking the kind of ridiculous where you can see the boom mic in the shot.  No way, this movie cost a buttload to make.  Maybe not a Kim Kardashian buttload, but at least a Jennifer Lopez buttload.  When you see the frog people costumes, I shit you not; they give the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles costumes a run for their money.  Hell Comes to Frogtown cost $7 mil to shoot and wound up grossing $12.3 mil.  Whether it was the draw of a WWF superstar, the idea of seeing a movie with frog people, or because everybody loves a good post-apocalyptic romp, it was enough of a hit to spawn 3 sequels, each of which are complete and utter excrement.

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The original film has a lot of charm, and Piper is actually a pretty decent actor for the most part, but anyone who’s seen They Live knows he got chops.  Frogtown definitely falls into the category of bad movies that don’t take themselves too seriously and therefore work.  When you have a frog/human mutant wearing a shriner hat and an ascot, you know you’re in for a good time.  A personal highlight is when one of the female “Froggy’s” asks Piper to bang her, and after careful deliberation, he agrees, but only if she agrees to wear a paper bag over her head.  A hole’s a hole when it’s wearing a paper bag, right?

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Hell Comes to Frogtown starts out with an intriguing plot that just gets downright weird when the “Froggy’s” join the party, complete with frog strippers and frogs with three penises.  The tongue and cheek tone of the movie makes it ever so loveable.  With a sign at the beginning of the movie advocating against condom use that reads: “The future is in your hands,” it’s a good thing Sam Hell has an easy access flap on his metal chastity belt.  Although I can’t even imagine what the chaffing must be like in that thing.

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Rating:

3 out of 5 Inappropriately Spread Eagle Professional Wrestlers


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2 Responses to “Review: Hell Comes to Frogtown (1988)”

  1. Watched this movie once when I was a teen, and then again recently. As your review points out, the film is several parts “what the fuck” (but you know, the good kind) and a whole lot of fun. I love it. Plus, I love seeing Roddy Piper in a good movie. He’s certainly done his share of utter excrement.

  2. yo says:

    Man i saw this many years ago, (1:00 am) in a local channel, good times
    ¨A hole is a hole.¨ LOL

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