killertomatoes

Review: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)

Best Bad Quote:

“I know what you mean, Jim.  It’s like trying to stack bibles on whipped cream.”

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Can somebody please tell me why these goddamn tomatoes sound like retarded autistic children playing with their Micro Machines?I have a love/hate relationship with this movie.  On the one hand, some of the gags are ingenious and the fact that they’re poking fun at B-movies is something that every bad movie fan can appreciate.  On the other hand, the gags that lack ingenuity, compromise with a heavy hand that makes many of them groan worthy.  Truth be told, I’ve never been a huge fan of slapstick spoof movies, ranging from Airplane to Scary Movie.  That aside, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is undoubtedly more clever than any of the spoof movies of today, however many of the jokes feel outdated and don’t hold up thirty years later.

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Beginning like a season of 24, with an uprising of a terrorist group on U.S. soil and a government conspiracy to cover it up, the terrorist group just happens to be an army of killer tomatoes who have somehow become sentient and turned on humanity.    Our Jack Bauer for the next 87 minutes is the bumbling idiot, Mason Dixon.  Dixon, a poor man’s John Belushi without the comedy chops, is put in charge by the government because they know he’s someone who is too dumb to rock the boat.  Dixon must rise to the occasion and prove everyone wrong and hopefully make bruschetta out of the tomatoes in the process.

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Please excuse the bruschetta joke, but after watching AOTKT, I have dipshit humor on the brain.  From the nonsensical musical numbers to the even more ridiculous non sequitur death scenes, AOTKT is an absurdity roller coaster that leaves you with a case of blue balls when it’s over.  So many of the jokes just feel tired and lazy and made me wish I had my own bag of tomatoes to throw at the television.

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Maybe I’m too young to fully appreciate the silly shenanigan ridden humor in this movie, and if that is the case, I blame the clowns who made this movie.  They clearly didn’t have the foresight to set out to create a comedy capable of withstanding the test of time.  If Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin movies manage to still hold up, there’s absolutely no reason, if done right, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes couldn’t have followed suit.  I can’t believe I just put Charlie Chaplin in the same sentence as this pile of celluloid feces.  The only good that may come from watching Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is you switching to organic produce.

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Rating:

1 out of 5 Black Hitlers


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