mosquito

Review: Mosquito (1995)

Best Bad Quote:

“No, Hendricks.  You… are living… in science FACT!”

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When you think of terrifying insects in movies, you probably think of spiders (Arachnophobia), flies (The Fly), and whatever the hell those things are in Mimic.  What do all those movies have in common?  They’re all leaps and bounds better than the 1995 crapfest that is Mosquito.  You may be asking yourself, is it possible to make a bad movie about genetically mutated killer mosquitoes?  Yes my friends, it’s not only possible…it exists, forever preserved on celluloid, or at least VHS.

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An alien spaceship crash lands in a swamp somewhere in the South.  When a swarm of mosquitoes decide to feed on the ship’s alien corpses, they mutate to the size of Justin Bieber.  Along with their increase in size, the mosquito’s bloodlust seems to also increase exponentially.  No longer satisfied with simply taking a little sip of their victim’s blood, these pests are much more likely to impale you through your eyeball.

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The premise sounds promising enough, but believe me, this movie blllllooooooooowwwws!  Have you ever heard people say that the South is 10 years behind the rest of the country?  Well, if this movie is any indication, whoever those people may be are 100% right.  The soundtrack sounds like it was composed by the music class of a special-ed school.  Also, I love a movie with a large kill count, but I also like those kills to at least be related to the main characters in some way or another.  Mosquito gives you one completely unrelated kill after another.  That being said, the one thing this movie does have going for it is a shit ton of gore, some of which actually looks halfway decent.

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The one other redeeming quality of Mosquito is the terrible acting performance by Gunnar Hansen as “Earl the Bank Robber.”  If that name doesn’t ring any bells, maybe the name “Leatherface” is more familiar to you.  That’s right; Gunnar Hansen played everybody’s favorite chainsaw-wielding inbred in the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I now know why Tobe Hooper made sure that Leatherface never talked.  There is a less than subtle nod to Hansen’s chainsaw infused past which is kind of fun.

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Look, we at BMN.com love a good genetically modified creature movie, but it needs to be campy.  Come on, you’re making a movie about giant mosquitoes, poke fun at yourself, because when you try to pull off a quasi-serious horror movie, you completely alienate the audience, just as Mosquito did.

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Rating:

1 out of 5 Black Guys Wearing Flannels


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