pervert

Review: Pervert (2005)

by Aaron Vaccaro – Head Writer

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Best Bad Quote:

“Why don’t we just stay up all night talking?”

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The best bad quote is somewhat ironic for this gut wrenching film, because there is far more nudity than their ever is talking in the movie.  But how could I resist a movie called Pervert starring none other than adult film star and former governor of California candidate, Mary Carey?  Oh, how I wish I had…

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When James comes home from college to spend the summer with his dad on his desert ranch, he hopes to repair their estranged relationship.  Unfortunately, his focus shifts from bonding with his Dad to trying to bang his Dad’s wife played by the buxom Mary Carey.  To make matters worse, James has realized that his Dad has gone bat-shit crazy, making life-size figurines out of rotting meat of animals…or is the meat of human beings?  When all of James’ father’s wives start showing up dead, James starts to suspect that his father is to blame.

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It’s obvious that Pervert is supposed to be an homage to the Russ Meyer’s films of the 60’s and 70’s (Faster, Pussycat! Kill!  Kill!, The Valley of the Dolls).  Meyer’s films were characterized by women with abnormally large breasts, lots of sex and lots of violence.  And believe me, Pervert manages to capture all three of those elements of the exploitation films, unfortunately it comes off as more of a parody of those movies instead of homage.  I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually think that Pervert had TOO much gratuitous nudity.  It would be fine jerk-off material, but so is whatever B-movie is on “Skinemax” at 2 a.m., but that doesn’t mean I want to watch them for any semblance of story.  I guess I was simply expecting a more creative nod to Meyer’s films when instead all Jonathan Yudis, the director, delivers is a shitload of bad acting, and a butt-load of bare titties of average-to-mediocre looking women.

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At the risk of sounding even more gay, the most entertaining part of Pervert has to be the angry severed penis that is the serial killer.  It’s literally a claymation penis that makes grumbling sounds.  It warranted a minor chuckle or two, but by that point in the movie, I was so checked out, that it simply wasn’t enough.

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It’s a sad day when I can’t recommend a movie chock full o’ boobies, but our BMN crew was literally groaning in agony while bare breasts bounced up and down on our scream.  You know a movie has to be bloody painful when that’s the case.

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Rating:

1 out of 5 Angry Claymation Fallices

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