Review: Youngblood (1986)
Best Bad Quote:
“Don’t take any shit from them Canucks!”
Is it weird to say that a movie where Rob Lowe is wearing an ass-less jock strap holding a hockey stick is a guilty pleasure of mine? Yeah, I thought so. It doesn’t help my case that the DVD cover looks like a bargain bin gay porno. But no, Youngblood is a hockey movie through and through. I’m a sucker for any movie about hockey, and since you can count the movies made about hockey on one hand, Youngblood holds a special place in my heart. Youngblood is most definitely cliché, predictable, and corny, but goddamnit if it isn’t a helluva lot of fun.
Dean Youngblood (Lowe) comes from a farming family in upstate New York but yearns for more than just tending to the crops. Youngblood wants to be a professional hockey player like his brother was until he suffered a career ending injury. When Youngblood gets a tryout for a minor league Canadian team captained by Swayze’s Derek Sutton, he makes the most of it. The only problem with Youngblood’s game is that he’s a pussy when it comes to dropping the gloves. Youngblood strikes up a steamy relationship with the Coach’s daughter but the Coach is the least of his worries. The prototypical sports movie goon, Racki, is gunning for both Youngblood and his new BFF Sutton. Is Youngblood willing to do whatever it takes to be the best?
Youngblood is chalk full of 80’s sports movie shenanigans. From the nympho hockey mom who welcomes all the new “boys” into her home with a good ole fashioned bang sesh, to a ritual hazing by Youngblood’s teammates involving a Bic razor and Youngblood’s balls. This movie is successful because it’s lighthearted and silly. After all, Keanu Reeves plays the French Canadian goalie of the hockey team; and I’m sure you can imagine how ridiculous that is. Youngblood has everything you want from an 80’s sport movie, a training montage in a barn, a cheese ball love story that includes some sweaty sex in front of a furnace, and 80’s-tastic synthesizer score. Youngblood is definitely bad, but at the same time, it’s oh so good. Plus, you get one of the original bromance’s between Lowe and Swayze.
4 out of 5 Gratuitous Rob Lowe Ass Shots