db70ba6c-2d9c-44fa-a15a-164a3560d90b

Review: THE FOOD OF THE GODS (1976)

by Meredith Grau
.
 
Best Bad Quote:
“Nature will rebel… It’s gonna be one Hell of a rebellion.”
.
Just in time for America’s annual gorge fest, let us feast upon the fatherland’s greatest creation: bad cinema starring giant cocks. By which I mean roosters. Calm down.
.
Yes, this delectable film is all about oversized mammals, insects, and birds. See, what happened was, screenwriter/director Bert I. Gordon went ahead and bastardized the work of literary giant (and social clairvoyant) H.G. Wells’s to jump on the ecological nightmare gravy train– like Frogs and Night of the Lepus– all to teach us how animals hate our friggin’ guts! They want revenge, and I understand. However, the reasons aren’t what you’d expect. The plot is not driven by a pollution backlash or the destruction of natural habitats. Animals, like us, apparently just don’t like share, especially not their turf. Unfortunately, the way they take control is nothing so simple and sophisticated as a Hitchcockian crow rebellion. As in everything, the Christians are to blame.
.
You know when a strange, bubblin’ crude explodes from your lawn, and you think to yourself, “Clearly this is food for my chickens?” But then the chickens don’t want to eat it, so you mix it with corn meal or some such thing and force feed them? And then when they multiply in size, you be like, “This is God’s work!” Well, that’s exactly what happens here: people blaming Jesus for their own actions. Yes, giant animals, predominantly rats, emerge, take over the forested island inhabited by one sole, loony, Bible-banging couple of old farts, then start viciously attacking vacationing fools and taking back the yard! As Jeff Goldblum said, “Life finds a way.” (No, he is not in this movie, which is the one missing ingredient).
.
A fun game to play while enraptured in this gem is Big Rat/Small Rat. During different pivotal moments, you basically try to tell the difference between regular sized rats on a small toy car, and giant muppet rats on a human sized car. I know it sounds easy, but that’s only because it is. The acting is also entertaining as Hell, as the film is led by this dude (Marjoe Gortner <– I mean, perfect, right?) who has all of the emotional depth of burnt toast. But not as much charisma… He watches two of his friends die, he fights off giant wasps (and cocks), and he is trapped in one effed up situation, but at no point does he seem surprised by any of it. Not at all. Instead of being shocked or horrified, he gets downright pensive. “Hm… Something doesn’t seem right here…” I know dude. It’s you. 
.
Anyway, he’s the story’s hero because he (eventually) demands answers of the chicken who pecked him. He has no fear! Of course, this is because he plays football, which also makes him catnip for the ladies. When under attack, they like to confess to him how much they want to make sweet love: “When this is over, I promise.” This, at least, is a relief to the viewer who is thus led to believe that the movie will indeed be ‘over’ at some point. 
.
But nothing is so disturbing as, heartbreak of heartbreaks, the appearance of movie icon Ida Lupino as the crazy Bible lady. How the mighty have fallen… Though, it  must be said, she does the most acting in the film, scenery chewing though it may be. It fits, and she really, really tries. AND she fights off giant maggots like a pimp! See also in the cast, the cliched, greedy, capitalist, bad guy character Ralph Meeker. From Kubrick to Vermin on Steroids… Hey, ya’ gotta get paid.
.
This movie is actually quite hysterical. It is so poorly done, yet behind it all, you can tell that the director really tried, which makes it even funnier. Nothing is more rewarding than laughing at someone else’s shattered dreams, am I right? [High five]. A lot of passion went into this film and a lot of love. None of it pays off, and its pathetic attempts make you chortle merrily. I really can’t find anything bad about it, because what’s bad is canceled out by how good it feels. Especially the last frame. Ha. Hahahaha… Just like turkey in the belly, you hate yourself for gorging on it, but my God, does life feel complete afterward. And so, so sick.
.
Rating:
4 out of 5 Earth Brewed Jesus Smoothies
fotg2 fotg2 fotg2 fotg2.
.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply