MPW-46759

Review: POLICE ACADEMY 3 (1986)

by Meredith Grau
. 
Best Bad Quote:
“It’s a matter of the mind being mightier than the bosom. I-I mean–“.
  
And we’re back! Fortunately, Hollywood kept churning out these gems at a rate of 1/yr. How did they do it? By recycling old jokes instead of coming up with new ones. (Oh yeah, that trick of the trade). Don’t worry. The writers keep things interesting for the audience. For example, the pesky Comdt. Mauser loses his EYEBROWS instead of his HAIR this time! Hahaha! [Slaps knee, dries eyes]. Ah, man… Well, it’s important to be supportive of the less fortunate, isn’t it?
. 
The deal this go-round is that all the original trainees-turned-cops are asked to return to the academy in order to whip the new recruits into shape. Meanwhile, Mauser (Art Metrano) tries to do the same thing at another branch of the academy, which is competing for survival. Only one team can win! One school will be saved, and the other will close. Looks like a problem for… MacGutenberg!
. 
They say, “the third time’s the charm.” In this case, hey, it’s kinda true. Maybe the series is just growing on me, or maybe it’s genuinely more entertaining. I think the truth is that it’s so far off the grid in terms of idiotic ridiculousness, which just so happens to be my favorite thing, that it’s more bearable. The heights of stupidity have totally jumped the shark, and the only thing you can do is sit back and roll with it. Maybe even chuckle. Not out loud, but delicately, like a child.
. 
For die hard fans, this is the PA where Michael Winslow does his martial arts voiceover impressions, Bobcat Goldthwait decides to become a cop, and his former victim, the miniature Ted Kazurinsky, is forced to live with him as a roommate. The Gute returns with exceptionally sexist panache, essentially taking advantage of his title as an instructor to force himself on beautiful cadets, and the writers additionally point out how weird and naive Asians are by making one of “them” (Brian Tochi) fall in love with the gargantuan breasted Lt. Callahan (Leslie Easterbrook). As he buries his face into her chest cushions, he declares: “I love America!!!” It is a purely symbolic moment used to point out the fact that we are nothing more than a country of boobs. Well played… Gene… Q-Quintano???
. 
What I will say for this sequel is it’s lighter (if that’s possible) than the others, and it’s nice to see the crew at their old stomping grounds– despite the boredom incurred during their initial stay there. The film indulges the characters’ eccentricities a little more, if only to show their incompetence and thus how unsafe we are in their hands. They pretty much just resort to violence when things turn bad. Bobcat screams, Hightower (Bubba Smith) crushes, and Tackleberry (David Graf) either shoots at pedestrians’ cigars or breaks open public meters to give old ladies change. Sure, it’s weak comedy, but if you’ve already made it this far into the series, you don’t care anymore anyway.
. 
At the very least, there is some actual crime fighting, involving speed boats and jet skis and scary dudes in masks. Yup, the knucklehead underdogs are finally able to prove just what they’re made of! And, you’re proud of them, even if you wish Gute would do something more useful than smile at women, mentally stroke himself, and say everything twice, (because he has nothing useful to say): “Alright, alright! Huddle up, huddle up! Let’s go, let’s go!” If you say so, Gute. If you say so… Gute.
.
Rating:
 
3 out of 5 Copper Knockers
original original original
.

You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a Reply